Then maybe i started to meditate, maybe because there is no such thing as meditation, or maybe there is such thing as meditation and no matter what it is, just from sitting in some rare position of crossed legs and some weird stare at the weird candle i started to receive some spontaneous lights coming from beneath my spine up to the head and spreading like fireworks, i had to stop this strangest process of cross legged sitting for within a second i was flooded with light every time i was starting it. Then all possible thoughts turned to anything related with spirituality and i have never stopped from that moment. I can't, even if do, there is a force that brings me back to it. No matter what.